To be vulnerable is to admit that you have weaknesses. It means to admit that there are limitations to your knowledge, limitations to your ability, limitation was to your energy. I think to be vulnerable means to take down your guard and remove your defenses -- to be genuinely open to people. This is risky. To be vulnerable is a scary proposition. There are some people in your church who don’t want you to be vulnerable as a human being or as a pastor.
I heard a person say one time, “There are three kinds of people: men, women, pastors.” The problem with that it denies a truth of life and keeps us from having full impact in other people’s lives.
Sometimes pastors will succumb to that, to the pressure of maintaining an image that’s more than human. But I challenge you not to cave in to this pressure. Do not let people put you on a pedestal. It’s dishonest. It’s hypocritical. When you try to act like you’re not imperfect, that you’re not human, you end up projecting a false image and you won’t be real. Then when the inevitable truth comes out, people become disillusioned because there’s been such an unrealistic image.
Values. Why is it worth the effort to be open and honest about your humanity and your weaknesses.
- It’s emotionally healthy.
James 5:16 “Confess your faults to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” It brings health.
- It’s spiritually empowering.
James 4:6 "God opposes the proud but He gives grace to the humble.” You know we cannot minister without the grace of God. So the question then becomes, how do you get grace? How can I get the grace I need to pastor the church God called me to pastor?
One answer: By humbling ourselves. God gives grace to the humble.
What is humility? I think there is a lot of misconceptions about the definition of humility. Humility is not denying your strengths. Humility is being honest about your weaknesses.
- It is relationally endearing. It draws us closer to other people when we’re vulnerable, when we’re open, when we’re authentic, when we’re real. People gravitate toward us.
1 Thessalonians 2:8. “We were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our own lives as well.”
Paul shared his life with people. He exposed himself to them. He didn’t keep his distance. He related to people on a personal level.
When you’re honest, when you’re open, people love to be around you. People don’t relate to perfection. They relate to humanity. James knew this when he said in
James 5:17 “Elijah was a man just like us.”
When a pastor throws away his mask and becomes real with his people it does a couple of things.
People love to be around real people. Vulnerability creates fellowship. Rather than be driven apart when you share a personal weakness, it draws you together. When you share a personal pain with the people in your church. You will discover a new level of fellowship that you have not know previously. Some of the loneliest people I’ve met are pastors. I think it’s because they’re afraid of being vulnerable. Vulnerability endears you to people.
4. It is enhances your leadership. It makes a more credible leader.
Every leader has weaknesses and how you handle them will determine whether they help you or hinder you as a leader. If you understand and accept your natural limitations they become useful to you. But if you ignore them, they become embarrassments.
People want to follow a leader who is real. A study done recently suggest what people desire most in a leader. The four characteristics that they said they wanted most in a leader were
1. Integrity
2. Transparency
3. Vulnerability
4. A sense of humor
They’re simply saying, “I want a pastor who’s real. I want a leader who is real.” The more honest you are about your weaknesses, the more you’re perceived as being real. The more real you are, the more credibility you have. The more credibility you have, the easier it is for you to lead and the more willing people are to follow you. Vulnerability enhances leadership rather than destroying it.
- It increases the impact of your preaching.
2 Corinthians 6:11 “We have spoken to you Corinthians and opened wide our hearts to you.
When preparing the message I’d ask myself, “What is the most powerful way to say this point?” I no longer ask that question. I now ask myself, “What is the most personal way to present this point?” I have discovered that the most personal way is the most powerful way. Personal communication is the most powerful communication. I’m much more effective as a witness than I am as an orator. When I speak out of the overflow of experience, then I speak with conviction. And conviction moves people.
WHAT TO DO WITH OUR WEAKNESSES
We all have them. We’ve seen the benefits of them. We’ve seen the importance of vulnerability. What do I do with my weaknesses? First, what not to do:
1. Don’t ignore them. They are not going to go away.
2. Don’t excuse them. Anytime I make an excuse for my weaknesses, I lose credibility.
3. Don’t deny them. That doesn’t work.
4. Don’t defend them. Don’t blame somebody else for your weaknesses.
Glory in them, because his grace is sufficient.....
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