The Bible says “Make every effort to live in peace with all men. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up.” Why? Because it “…causes trouble and defiles many.” The fact is you will be hurt in ministry. It’s a given. You will be hurt intentionally and you will be hurt unintentionally. You will be hurt by those that recognize that they’re doing it to you and by those who don’t recognize it. You cannot be in ministry and you cannot be a leader without being hurt. If you call the shots you’re going to take the shots. Pioneers always get the arrows. Once you put out your shingle, somebody’s going to start throwing rocks at it. It is not by accident that the most blessed ministries in America are also the most criticized ministries.
One of the most deadly diseases for leaders, then, is bitterness. Because if you allow bitterness to grow up in your life it will choke your heart for God, it will choke the spirituality and your love for people until your heart just shrivels.
As a leader, if you don’t make this vow, when you are misunderstood or when you are maligned or when you are criticized unjustly you’re going to be tempted to retaliate and you probably will. But you cannot get away with that and still be a leader. Spiritual leadership requires forgiveness.
Jesus was a perfect leader and yet He was betrayed. Judas betrayed Him and hurt Him. And Jesus was hurt by the other disciples as well. If you were even a perfect leader, you would still be hurt by others. It’s not always your fault. But it is your fault if you carry bitterness in your heart. That keeps you from being what God wants you to be.
Probably the greatest example of this in the Old Testament is Moses. Moses had to put up with two million crying babies for forty years. Although he had saved them from four hundred years of bondage, although he provided for them the way God told him to provide for them all the time, the people criticized him. He was constantly maligned. They rebelled at him. They wanted to overthrow him several times. Yet Moses refused to have a bitter spirit. There are only two people in the Bible who are called “meek” – Jesus and Moses. He learned how to handle criticism.
Why do people hurt leaders? There are many different reasons. Sometimes they do it simply out of jealousy. Sometimes they do it to get attention for themselves. Sometimes they’re taking up an offense for someone else they think was hurt. One of the most common problems in churches today is people getting upset on behalf of others. But really one of the main reasons is we all just have a rebellious nature. We have a problem with authority. We don’t like to be told what to do.
Also sometimes people will hurt leaders simply because they’re transferring anger from one authority to another. Or maybe they’re upset at home. Or maybe they’re upset at work. They come to church and find a safe place where they can vent it. As a leader, you must be able to absorb the hurts of other people without having to give an explanation every time people disagree with you. This is very important because sometimes you will have to make unpopular decisions that you cannot always explain.
Sometimes you just have to let people be upset with you rather than explaining everyone of your actions.
Why should I forgive others? It says make every effort to live in peace with all men and don’t allow any bitter root to grow up. Why should I forgive those people who hurt me? It’s healing. And because God’s forgiven us. The Bible says so..
Jesus said, “I forgive you as much as you forgive others.” If you don’t forgive you’re burning the bridge you need to cross into heaven. You always be forgiving. And as a leader, first, you make every effort to maintain your integrity. Second, you make every effort to forgive those who hurt you.
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