AS A LEADER I VOW TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HURT ME

The Bible says “Make every effort to live in peace with all men.  See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up.”  Why?  Because it “…causes trouble and defiles many.”  The fact is you will be hurt in ministry.  It’s a given.  You will be hurt intentionally and you will be hurt unintentionally.  You will be hurt by those that recognize that they’re doing it to you and by those who don’t recognize it.  You cannot be in ministry and you cannot be a leader without being hurt.  If you call the shots you’re going to take the shots.  Pioneers always get the arrows.  Once you put out your shingle, somebody’s going to start throwing rocks at it.  It is not by accident that the most blessed ministries in America are also the most criticized ministries.

One of the most deadly diseases for leaders, then, is bitterness.  Because if you allow bitterness to grow up in your life it will choke your heart for God, it will choke the spirituality and your love for people until your heart just shrivels.        

As a leader, if you don’t make this vow, when you are misunderstood or when you are maligned or when you are criticized unjustly you’re going to be tempted to retaliate and you probably will.  But you cannot get away with that and still be a leader.  Spiritual leadership requires forgiveness. 

Jesus was a perfect leader and yet He was betrayed.  Judas betrayed Him and hurt Him.  And Jesus was hurt by the other disciples as well.  If you were even a perfect leader, you would still be hurt by others.  It’s not always your fault.  But it is your fault if you carry bitterness in your heart.  That keeps you from being what God wants you to be.

Probably the greatest example of this in the Old Testament is Moses.  Moses had to put up with two million crying babies for forty years.  Although he had saved them from four hundred years of bondage, although he provided for them the way God told him to provide for them all the time, the people criticized him.  He was constantly maligned.  They rebelled at him.  They wanted to overthrow him several times.  Yet Moses refused to have a bitter spirit.  There are only two people in the Bible who are called “meek” – Jesus and Moses.  He learned how to handle criticism.

Why do people hurt leaders?  There are many different reasons.  Sometimes they do it simply out of jealousy.  Sometimes they do it to get attention for themselves.  Sometimes they’re taking up an offense for someone else they think was hurt.  One of the most common problems in churches today is people getting upset on behalf of others.  But really one of the main reasons is we all just have a rebellious nature.  We have a problem with authority.  We don’t like to be told what to do.  

Also sometimes people will hurt leaders simply because they’re transferring anger from one authority to another.  Or maybe they’re upset at home.  Or maybe they’re upset at work.  They come to church and find a safe place where they can vent it.  As a leader, you must be able to absorb the hurts of other people without having to give an explanation every time people disagree with you.  This is very important because sometimes you will have to make unpopular decisions that you cannot always explain.  

Sometimes you just have to let people be upset with you rather than explaining everyone of your actions.

Why should I forgive others?  It says make every effort to live in peace with all men and don’t allow any bitter root to grow up.  Why should I forgive those people who hurt me?  It’s healing.  And because God’s forgiven us.  The Bible says so..

Jesus said, “I forgive you as much as you forgive others.” If you don’t forgive you’re burning the bridge you need to cross into heaven.  You always be forgiving.  And as a leader, first, you make every effort to maintain your integrity.  Second, you make every effort to forgive those who hurt you.

AS A LEADER I VOW TO MAINTAIN MY INTEGRITY

 AS A LEADER I VOW TO MAINTAIN MY INTEGRITY

The bottom line, the foundation, of all leadership is integrity.  2 Peter 3:14 “Make every effort to be found spotless, blameless, and at peace with Him.”  What does it mean to be spotless and blameless?  Does it mean to be perfect?  Of course not.  Because none of us are perfect.  But it does mean to have integrity.  How do you maintain integrity if you’re not perfect?  By being transparent.  By being authentic.  By being real and vulnerable.  By not hiding your faults.  Those who hide their faults, the Bible says, will fail; but those who confess them and forsake them get a second chance.  You’ve heard me say before that humility is not denying your strength it’s simply being honest about your weaknesses.  So a person of integrity is not claiming to have it all together in every area.  On the contrary, the person of integrity says, “This is where I do have it together and this is where I don’t.”  

Having integrity also means living what you say you believe.  You walk the talk.  You don’t just teach it but you model it.  And you believe it and behave it.  Integrity means telling the truth.  Did you know that there is only one letter difference between “truth” and “trust” because those two really do go together?  All leadership is built on trust.  And trust comes from having the reputation for telling the truth.  It comes from consistently telling the truth even when it’s difficult.  If you’re going to be a leader, you’ve got to have people trust you.  And if you’re going to have people trust you, you must always tell the truth.  

That also means that as a leader, having integrity means keeping your promises.  You don’t say one thing and then do another.  This way you’re able to maintain a clear conscious.  When people know that you are a truth teller they then can trust you.

Proverbs 28:13 “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful but if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.”  (Living Bible)  

This is an issue that has direct bearing on fallen leadership and how quickly they should be restored.  Many Christians today misunderstand the difference between forgiveness and trust.  Forgiveness is instant but trust is built over a period of time.  Trust comes from having a track record.  While we must be quick to forgive we are not called to instantly trust people who do not have a track record for being trustworthy.  When someone falls in leadership in your church, forgiveness is to be instant and fellowship is to be instant, but they must prove themselves over a period of time before they are placed back into a position of leadership.  Leaders maintain integrity.

THE VALUE OF VULNERABILITY

To be vulnerable is to admit that you have weaknesses.  It means to admit that there are limitations to your knowledge, limitations to your ability, limitation was to your energy.  I think to be vulnerable means to take down your guard and remove your defenses -- to be genuinely open to people.  This is risky.  To be vulnerable is a scary proposition.  There are some people in your church who don’t want you to be vulnerable as a human being or as a pastor.

I heard a person say one time, “There are three kinds of people:  men, women, pastors.”  The problem with that it denies a truth of life and keeps us from having full impact in other people’s lives.

Sometimes pastors will succumb to that, to the pressure of maintaining an image that’s more than human.  But I challenge you not to cave in to this pressure.  Do not let people put you on a pedestal.  It’s dishonest.  It’s hypocritical.  When you try to act like you’re not imperfect, that you’re not human, you end up projecting a false image and you won’t be real.  Then when the inevitable truth comes out, people become disillusioned because there’s been such an unrealistic image.  

Values.  Why is it worth the effort to be open and honest about your humanity and your weaknesses.

1. It’s emotionally healthy. 

James 5:16 “Confess your faults to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”  It brings health.

1. It’s spiritually empowering.  

James 4:6 "God opposes the proud but He gives grace to the humble.”  You know we cannot minister without the grace of God.  So the question then becomes, how do you get grace?  How can I get the grace I need to pastor the church God called me to pastor?  

One answer:  By humbling ourselves.  God gives grace to the humble.  

What is humility?  I think there is a lot of misconceptions about the definition of humility.  Humility is not denying  your strengths.  Humility is being honest about your weaknesses.

1. It is relationally endearing.  It draws us closer to other people when we’re vulnerable, when we’re open, when we’re authentic, when we’re real.  People gravitate toward us. 

1 Thessalonians 2:8.  “We were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our own lives as well.”  

Paul shared his life with people.  He exposed himself to them.  He didn’t keep his distance.  He related to people on a personal level.  

When you’re honest, when you’re open, people love to be around you.  People don’t relate to perfection.  They relate to humanity.  James knew this when he said in 

James 5:17 “Elijah was a man just like us.”  

When a pastor throws away his mask and becomes real with his people it does a couple of things.  

People love to be around real people.  Vulnerability creates fellowship.  Rather than be driven apart when you share a personal weakness, it draws you together.  When you share a personal pain with the people in your church. You will discover a new level of fellowship that you have not know previously.  Some of the loneliest people I’ve met are pastors.  I think it’s because they’re afraid of being vulnerable.  Vulnerability endears you to people.   

4.  It is enhances your leadership.  It makes a more credible leader.

Every leader has weaknesses and how you handle them will determine whether they help you or hinder you as a leader.  If you understand and accept your natural limitations they become useful to you.  But if you ignore them, they become embarrassments.  

People want to follow a leader who is real.  A study done recently suggest what people desire most in a leader.  The four characteristics that they said they wanted most in a leader were 

1.  Integrity

2.  Transparency

3.  Vulnerability

4.  A sense of humor

They’re simply saying, “I want a pastor who’s real.  I want a leader who is real.”  The more honest you are about your weaknesses, the more you’re perceived as being real.  The more real you are, the more credibility you have.  The more credibility you have, the easier it is for you to lead and the more willing people are to follow you.  Vulnerability enhances leadership rather than destroying it.  

1. It increases the impact of your preaching.  

2 Corinthians 6:11 “We have spoken to you Corinthians and opened wide our hearts to you.

When preparing the message I’d ask myself, “What is the most powerful way to say this point?”  I no longer ask that question.  I now ask myself, “What is the most personal way to present this point?”  I have discovered that the most personal way is the most powerful way.  Personal communication is the most powerful communication.  I’m much more effective as a witness than I am as an orator.  When I speak out of the overflow of experience, then I speak with conviction.  And conviction moves people.

WHAT TO DO WITH OUR WEAKNESSES

We all have them.  We’ve seen the benefits of them.  We’ve seen the importance of vulnerability.  What do I do with my weaknesses?  First, what not to do:

1.  Don’t ignore them.  They are not going to go away.  

2.  Don’t excuse them.  Anytime I make an excuse for my weaknesses, I lose credibility.  

3.  Don’t deny them.  That doesn’t work.

4.  Don’t defend them.  Don’t blame somebody else for your weaknesses.

Glory in them, because his grace is sufficient.....

THE HUMAN SIDE OF MINISTRY

The human side of ministry.  I think there are two great confessions in the Bible.  One of them is Peter’s great confession.  In Mark 8:28 Peter says, “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God,” and we know that is the great confession on which our faith is built.  But there’s another great confession that I call Paul’s great confession.  In Acts 14:15 at Iconium he said, “We are but men, human like yourselves.”  I know a lot of people who are quick to agree with the first confession, “Thou art the Christ,” but they’re more reticent to proclaim Paul’s great confession that we’re only human.  We’ve got a lot of leaders and pastors who are interested in proclaiming their spirituality but they’re uncomfortable in admitting their humanity.  They’d like to deny that they’re mere mortals, human beings.  They’d want to pretend that they’re super human.  

I want to offer two propositions.  

1. The first is that to deny your humanity is not only untruthful but it’s a dis-service to both yourself and the people you serve.  

2. The second proposition is that your humanity is actually one of your greatest assets in ministry.  

2 Corinthians 4:7 “We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us.

It talks about jars of clay.  

They’re very ordinary.  

Jars of clay are not indestructible.  

They have limitations, flaws.  

They break easily.  

I think the point that God is making here is that He puts His greatest gifts in ordinary containers.

God loves to use very ordinary people in extraordinary ways. 

Hebrews 11:32-34 “I do not have time to tell you about Gideon, Barek, Samson, Jepeth, David, Daniel, Samuel, the prophets who, by faith, conquered kingdoms , administered justice and gained what was promised, who shut the mouth of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword, whose weakness was turned to strength.”  

I love that last phrase – “whose weakness was turned to strength.”  

That’s what God likes to do.  He likes to take weak people and make them strong.  

When I use the term weakness, I mean any limitation in your life or ministry that you’ve inherited and can’t change.  

There are many different kinds of weakness. Character flaw. It might be a circumstantial limitation, disadvantage that you’re facing in your church, problems, external pressures

Then there are emotional limitations, scars that we all carry from childhood, from school, natural temperament, personality characteristics that you have, how you handle stress, your basic predisposition toward life.  I think we all carry talent limitations.

The fact is, you’re good at some things and you are not good at some other things.  Matthew 25 makes it real clear that there are one talent people there are five talent people and there are ten talent people.  We’re limited.  Nobody is good at everything.  And then we have physical limitations.  There are limits on how much energy we have.  We have handicaps.  Each of us go through illnesses, disabilities.  I think it’s ironic that most pastors resent it when they get sick.  Yet that’s silly!  You’re a human being and we all have physical limitations.

So when I talk about weaknesses, I’m talking about any limitation on your life or ministry that you inherited or you can’t change.

Consider Moses.  There are only two people in the Bible who are called meek: Jesus and Moses.  When you think of meek you think of someone who has their temper under control, yet what was Moses’ greatest problem?  His anger.  He got angry and killed an Egyptian.  He got angry and threw down the Ten Commandments so that they broke.  He got angry and struck the rock when he should have spoken to it.  It was anger that kept him out of the promised land, yet in the Bible he’s the only other person besides Jesus who is called meek.  

Gideon.  God said, “Gideon, you are a mighty man of valor,” and yet when you look closely at his life, Gideon’s problem was timidity.  He was afraid.  He had a fear of failure.  Yet God said you are a courageous man of valor.

Jesus called Peter “a Rock.”  Yet, Peter was anything but stable.  He was Mr. Impulsive, Mr. Foot-In-Mouth, always speaking before he had thought things through.  Yet Jesus said, “You’re going to be a rock.”

David.  He was called, “a man after God’s own heart,” and yet his greatest defeat was in the area of moral impurity.

Abraham.  Abraham was called the “father of faith,” and yet he had so much faith that twice he told his wife, "Tell them you’re my sister so they won’t kill me in order to take you.”  That didn’t show too much faith!

We preachers love to speak about their victories but dont like to mention their defeats.

Thats why its all by the grace of God. 

We shouldn’t avoid talking about OUR humanity it makes the grace of god more powerful.

God loves to choose weak people to work through.  Why?  

1 Corinthians 1:27 (Good News) “God purposely chose what the world considers nonsense in order to put wise men to shame and what the world considers weak in order to put the powerful men to shame.”  

Why does He like to use weak people?  So He will receive the glory. 

Zachariah 4:6 “`It’s not by might not by power but by My Spirit,’ says the Lord.”  

I remember I used to imagine that Samson was some muscle bound giant but later I learned that the Bible says when the Philistines looked at Samson, they couldn’t figure out his secret of strength.  

Evidently he must have looked very average and they didn’t know why he was strong.  

Judges 14:19 tells us that the secret of his strength was the Spirit of the Lord came upon him.

Not the size of his muscles.  There’s another example of weakness turned into strength.

Let’s look at the benefits of our weaknesses.  The limitations that God allows in our lives can actually be a blessing in disguise.

1. You have a greater dependence upon God.

2 Corinthians 12:10 (Living Bible) “For when I am weak, then I am strong.  The less I have, the more I depend upon Him.”

Prayed three times, God take it away, but he didn’t.

Usually we resist or resent any limitation that we have on our ministry.  

But if God shows Himself strong in the limitations in your ministry and if God shows Himself strong in your weaknesses, then why should He take it away?  

The fact is sometimes God works through our human weaknesses rather than eliminating those weakness.  I think this is true for not just physical weaknesses but also emotional ones.  I believe there are times we have to look at our psychological weaknesses as part of God’s providential plan for our life.  That they can increase our dependence upon God.  

What's More Valuable

1.  God's purpose is more valuable than popularity.

As Pharaoh’s grandson, the heir to the throne, that's a position of popularity.  But Moses wasn't impressed.  Don't ever sell your life out for popularity because it doesn't last.  One minute you're a hero, the next minute you're a zero.  It just doesn't last.  One of the things you have to learn as a leader is to hold in your hand lightly both praise and criticism.  Because one minute they love you and the next minute they hate you.  One minute you're doing great and the next minute you're doing lousy.  You must learn, if you're going to be effective in ministry, to live for an audience of one.  Really what matters is, What does God think about this?  Because you cannot play to the crowds.  

I make people happy all the time and I upset people all the time.  It's part for the course.  The pioneer takes the arrows.  If you're going to call the shots, you take the shots.  You hold both criticism and praise lightly.  Like chewing gum: You chew on it but you don't swallow it.  

2.  People are more valuable than pleasures.  

 Moses is on Easy Street.  He's got a royal lifestyle.  Any whim he wants is going to be satisfied.  Immediately.  But in order to do right, he had to choose discomfort over pleasure.  Do you realize that all the discomfort we've been through as a church, all the discomfort. Saying, I want to have a ministry without discomfort is like saying, I want to have a baby without my tummy getting big and going through labor.  It's an impossibility.  It's par for the course.  

Notice why did he give up for people.  v. 25 He chose to be mistreated "... along with the people of God rather than enjoy the pleasure of sin for a time."  He did it for the sake of people.  He said I want to do this to help others.  

That's why we put up with inconvenience in ministry – to help others.  That's called service.  The problem is a lot of people only want to serve God when it's convenient.  But a lot of ministry isn't convenient.  A lot of ministry isn't exciting.  It's just ministry, service.

3.  God's peace is more valuable than possessions.  

He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as greater value than the treasure of Egypt because he was looking ahead.  Moses knew that no possession could give inner peace.  Peace comes from doing God's will.  

Americans think it's life, liberty and the purchase of happiness.  There will be an awful lot of Christmas spending in the next couple of months.  I wonder if they'll still be elated in January when the payments come in.  It says, Don't worry about your possessions.  A man's life does not consist of the abundance of things that he possesses.  

It's amazing that Moses gave up the very things we spend our lives trying to get.  What motivated this man?  V. 26 “He was looking ahead to his reward.”  The reasons that he was able to have his values right – values are determined by perspective.  Or your values are determined by your vision.  And Moses was a man of vision.  So he had his eyes on the future reward, not on the measure, treasure, pleasure of today.  

WHAT TYPE OF WORDS ARE WE SPEAKING?

The words that we speak, are they life or death? 

Do they give us hope or discouragement? 

Since we are held responsible for every word we speak, I think we had better listen very carefully to what we are saying, not just to our brothers, but also to ourselves. 

Notice what Jesus said: 

Mt.12:36  But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned". 

Let us look at the words, justified and condemned a little more closely. 

By being Justified -- we are being freed from all blame, we are without guilt and we are shown or proven to be right. 

Condemned means -- to be pronounced unfit for use, guilty. 

By our own words we can be free from blame and without guilt, or we can pronounce ourselves guilty and unfit for the use of God. 

If it is the Word of God -- it is Life, it is freedom. 

If it is ourselves speaking -- it is death, and words of death will destroy, kill everyone that hears us; and not only they who hear us, but ourselves as well. 

Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof."

So what do we love -- Life or death? What are we eating, and what are we 'living' on? Is it Life or Death? It is one or the other. 

Proverbs 18:21 again, it says that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." 

And in 18:20 "A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled." 

Is our belly satisfied and filled with life, which is Christ, and live; All evil comes forth from the heart and proceeds out of the mouth. 

Jer 17:9 the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?.

Mat 12:34  For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh" . 

Mat 15:18-19 But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies" 

I myself want to live. What about you? I know the answer to that. We are all wanting to live, and not just live but to live life more abundantly.

So now that we know we are all wanting to live, let us look at some of the scriptures that speak of those things that give us life:

Proverbs 10:20 "The tongue of the just is as choice silver", (silver speaks of redemption & righteousness),( see also Proverbs 25:4-5 and Psa. 12:6).

Prov. 15:4  A wholesome tongue is a tree of life", and we know that Jesus Christ is the Tree of Life -- ever living (Rev. 2:7).

Prov.10 :11 The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life" , and 

John 4:14 tells us that He (Jesus) is the water for the thirsty. 

Jesus also said, John 7:37 "If any man thirst, let him come unto Me, and drink" .

Prov. 10:13 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found..." , 

Prov. 24:3-4 and with wisdom the house is built" .

Prov. 10-21 The lips of the righteous feed many"  and Jesus said, "Feed My sheep" (John 21:15-17).

Matthew 12:33-35, Jesus says, "The heart is the tree and the words are the fruit." Simply stated, the words that come out of our mouth, whether we mean what we say or not, indicate the condition of the heart. Be careful with what you allow in your heart, eventually it will come out.

LEADERS GET DISTRACTED

They start off on the right track but they lose their vision, they lose their mission, they get involved and instead of saying as Paul said, "This one thing I do..." they say "These forty things I dabble in."  When you get distracted from your purpose in life, you're going to be tempted.  It's going to happen.  

Example of David: "Everyone in Israel and Judah loved David because he was a successful leader.  In every battle David was more successful than any of Saul's other officers.  As a result David became very famous."  Warning!  Red light!  Notice what happened in 2 Samuel 11:1 "In the spring, when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the army, but David remained in Jerusalem."  He's not being where the kings should be, out on the front lines.  He's getting distracted.  "David remained in Jerusalem" and he lost touch with people on the front lines.  And that was his downfall.  Because in 2 Samuel 11:2 it mentions a lady named Bathsheba.  Instead of being out there on the front line, serving, ministering, working, he's at home saying, I'm just going to relax.  He got distracted.  And he encountered Bathsheba.

David's son had the same problem.  "As Solomon grew old his wives turned his heart after other gods and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord."  He got bored and he allowed other things to distract him from what God called him to do.

There are a lot of things that can distract you in ministry.  They're good but they're not the best.  Personal problems can distract you.  Health can distract you.  Other interests can distract you.  Finances can distract you.  Recreation can distract you.  Things that you think are fun and good and wonderful can distract you.  Satan doesn't care if you go off and sin, as long as you don't do what God wants you to do.  He'll distract you.

One day Jesus was walking down the street and looked at three would be followers and said, "You guys come follow Me."  One guy says, "I can't follow You, Lord.  I've just bought a piece of land."  What's the logic of that?  The land is going to stay there.  There's nothing going to happen to it.  Next guy says, "I just got married."  He had a better reason.  Third guy says, "I have to go bury my father."  The issue, when you read the Greek there, wasn't that his father had died because his father had been dead for a while.  He just said I've got to go home and spend some time.

The point is business, marriage, family are all distractions and part of life.  But you need to be aware when they're keeping you from what God wants you to do.  I am a firm believer in family.  I believe in the family and I believe in marriage.  But the Bible did not say, "Upon this rock I will build my family."  He did not say, "Go into all the world and build a family."  I believe in the family so I have a right to talk this way about it.  But you need to keep it all in perspective.

Don't be saying, "PastorAlbert said put the church before the family."  I'm not saying that.  But I am saying it's not the sum total of your life.  Jesus said "Seek first the kingdom of God."  The kingdom of God is what we're to seek first in our lives.  I didn't say that.  Jesus said it.  

So the leader gets distracted.  The antidote is to stay focused.  Never forget your mission.  Proverbs 22 "Do you know a hard working man?  He shall be successful and stand before kings."  Ecclesiastes 11 talks about being focused "Sow your seed in the morning and in the evening let not your hands be idol for you don't know which will succeed.  Whether this or that or whether both will do equally well."  The Bible says "No man having put his hand to the plow and looking back is good for the kingdom of God."  Stay focused.  Don't get distracted.